Hello and happy Monday! Monday is going to be my new weekly post day here on the blog! Now, I have already said in previous posts that recently my mood has declined. However, I have been trying to improve my mood through my personal style. (Shocker!!)
I currently attend community college which ya know, shockingly enough doesn't lend itself to getting all dolled up. I definitely feel like an outsider when I walk the halls in my crimson knee high boots or oversized lilac coat. Sure, feeling like an outsider isn't always a bad thing, but it's almost as if I had forgotten about the looks I receive when I express myself fully.
No one says anything or necessarily treats me differently. So sure, you could argue that it is all in my head. But I feel some pretty obvious judgement when I dress differently from the average community college student. And yes, I've gotten these looks before. In high school I actually made a conscious effort to brand myself as the girl who dressed fashionably and really didn't care. You could easily argue that I didn't care because I didn't know anyone and I didn't want to. But either way, I had built up an armor of confidence that I feel has lost me now.
I know that I feel happiest when I express myself through my personal style. But it has been hard to do so when my confidence isn't as strong as it needs to be to handle all the double takes and side eye glances. Due to those looks and my lacking confidence, at this moment I definitely need some help regarding my willingness to dress up.
In what is possibly the greatest cliché of every self-confidence journey, I have been retraining myself to put my own happiness above the opinions of others. Right now this training takes the form of baby steps like wearing heels twice a week even if though I know they'll make me the tallest girl in all my classes. Or forcing myself to wear a jacket I haven't worn in months because it's a little flamboyant. It sounds so silly to me, but it's almost as if I have my "self-confidence through personal style" training wheels back on. I really thought I had ditched them during my senior year of high school, but apparently not! Honestly that's okay though. I'v decided there's no shame in needing to dust off your training wheels and take them for another spin.
For today's post I have included some images that make me feel badass. Even I won't try to say this outfit is classroom appropriate. But the feeling I get from seeing myself wear a stunning sequin party dress is definitely what I'm going for when I get dressed daily. This dress feels like a genuine expression and it also gives me an air of I really don't care what anyone else thinks. I have to give a shoutout to the lovely photographer who not only took these photos, but also put together the meet up where they were taken! I have worked with Nour once before and I'm always a fan of her work. She's a sweetheart who takes some killer portraits, I highly recommend looking her up on Instagram. Also much appreciation to Level7 for having us!
My training wheels and I will hope to see you back here next week.
- Disingenuously Dressed